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Sunday, April 27, 2008

My heart is heavy!

Approximately two months ago, Nicolai was standing in a lunch line at school. Lunch line is an open area in a large lunch room with lots of kids and adults around. Nicolai was tickling a girl while waiting in line. No adults observed it. One kid decided to tattle on Nicolai. The girl then went home and told her parents that he was tickling her and touched her inappropriately. Nicolai admitted to doing so and so he got disciplined at school and at home. We didn't agree with the inappropriate touch and so he faced consequences at home as well as school. This is his first time, he has never gotten into trouble such as this. He has gotten into trouble, he's not perfect, but nothing like this. We explained to him the importance of not touching others. Nicolai is in second grade. Since the incident, the school has put Nicolai into a different gym class, he is escorted by an adult at ALL times and he is no longer allowed to participate in recess or have lunch with his classmates. This is the way it will be until the end of the year. There were no warnings. The girls parents are not happy and say that the school has not done enough. Oh and the County was called about this. Also the girls parents wanted the police called, but they haven't been.

MY SON IS NOT PERFECT. He makes mistakes and messes up just like the rest of us. I feel that even though this incident is his first, it was not observed by an adult, it is one kid's word against another and my son has not been complaining, he has been cooperating with all that the school has requested, that the punishment is over the top. Joel and I are seeking God on what to do. We are in constant communication with the school. There is a field trip coming up and they are discussing how to handle this. My son has a right to be on this field trip. They also had talked briefly about the other elementary school that we have in town - the possibility of him switching to that one. NOT A CHANCE! I'm really upset about this whole thing and am actually loosing sleep over it all. Please pray for God's hand in ALL aspects of this and that He would guide us on the next step. We are going to ask the school some questions and make it clear how we are feeling in all of this. That the punishment doesn't fit the crime even though I know they have a NO tolerance policy.

14 comment(s):

Mom said...

I believe at that age, since he has been with you so long, that it was an innocent kids thing. Kids tickle each other, end of story. He may have accidentally touched her, but I am sure he didn't mean it. It sounds as if the punishment is WAY over the top for the crime. He has been more than compliant and so have you. I will pray that things will work out and God will reveal to you what needs to be done. Take care.

Jane-Jane said...

Ditto to mom's comment. I feel sorry for all kids...they aren't allowed to be kids anymore!!! laughing will soon be outlawed! No fun, no interaction with people...little robots!

Lori and Joel, I'm praying for you guys.

ps...has the snow melted yet?

Mamita J said...

He's just a little boy...I'm so sorry this has been blown so out of proportion.

Praying for you,
Julie

Jennifer said...

You have got to be kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is out of control. Have you tried talking to the higher ups? That is an extremely severe punishment. A child that hits another child gets a short 1-7 day detention and this is purely innocent. I am sick over this!!! I have heard it all now

Heidi & Scott said...

Tickling? What has this world come to? He is in 2nd grade- he probably doesn't even understand what "inappropriate touching" means!! What a shame- the school is overreacting and being way too harsh. I'm sorry you've had to go through this- I'll be praying for wisdom for you and Joel.

Alleen said...

oh my gosh.. I'm simply shocked!! Ok fine, so maybe he shouldn't have tickled her, but inappropriate touching??? Come on.. It's not like he has a history of this. Definitely over-the-top punishment.

I will pray that the situation resolves itself.

Kim said...

Here's just another example of zero tolerance = no common sense. Do you remember the kindergartener that got expelled (I think - maybe just suspended) for chasing a little girl at recess and kissing her on the cheek? I wish I even had a suggestion for you. Poor Nico!!

Kerry said...

Lori, that is ridiculous. Have you had a face to face with the other parents? That's the only thing I can think of. It's harder for people to be so ridiculous when they KNOW...ya know?

I don't know what has become of our society. There doesn't seem to be any common sense anymore.

chad welch said...

I agree with kerry, in that if you are at all comfortable enough to do that I would have a face to face with the other parents. I think I would try to have them over for dinner and talk about the situation. It is a lot harder to be over the top with people when you break bread with them.

Also, have you approached the school board or the superintendent about the situation?

I know that whatever you do that you and Joel will do it with love, humility and grace.

Katie said...

Oh my goodness .. that is ridiculous !! People go so overboard !

margaret said...

Wow... this does seem over the top. I would agree with contacting the superintendent and/or the school board about this.

While I understand the zero tolerance policy for inappropriate touching, I think they need to make clear what exactly that means. Tickling is such a normal kid thing... how do you teach a kid not to be a kid? It's sad.

Penless Thoughts said...

Hi I cam over from another bloggers link. I am so sorry for you, your son and what is going on. Our world has gone just plain crazy. It is in the "eye" of the one's that do not know God. How can a 2nd grader even know what "touching unappropriately" means.

Father God I bring this precious boy and his parents to you right now. We lift up this situation and ask that your wisdom and your love intervene. In my saviors precious, precious name I pray. Amen.
Susan

MJ said...

I wonder how much of the "inapprioate touching" stuff came from leading questions from adults. Tickling in itself, is a fairly intimate thing, as usually spots are under armpits and stuff like taht.

I pray that the truth comes to light and nicolai doesnt have to suffer further.

MJ

Jamie said...

I found your blog through another blog I keep up with. I don't know you or your family, but I am lifting you all up in prayer.

As a former teacher, I am appalled at how discipline has gone over the top. I used to consider myself strict and thought the rules at our private school were necessary. I am ALL for discipline. But this is ridiculously unfair to your son.

I encourage you to continue to follow other avenues in order to reach whoever it is that you need to so that this "punishment" ENDS.

Prayers and blessings.

Jamie