Friday, September 15, 2006

My Heart!

Over the last couple of weeks, I have had something on my heart, but not sure how to share it. My intentions are NOT to offend. I don't want to be misunderstood. I only wish for better knowledge and understanding. So I share my heart, my most inner thoughts.....

If you know me, you know that my husband and I are adopting a little girl from Guatemala. It is such a grueling process. It is difficult to wait on two Governments to process your paperwork and tell you whether you are "fit" to be parents to their child or not. It's humbling to complete piles of paperwork, ask friends and family to vouch for you, have a psychologist evaluate you and "sign off" saying that they feel you are well enough to be parents and to go through physical tests, drug tests and background checks just to bring a child home. There is a roller coaster of emotions.

Honestly, I feel as if I'm "selling" the idea to our friends that we have a child on the way. I pull out pictures and they trust us that it is a child that we are adopting, and just didn't find a cute baby picture from the Internet and print them off. We trust that our agency is telling us the truth and is sending us the proper pictures of a baby they tell us we can bring home some day. It's weird, I know. Yet, I can't help but feel this way sometimes. There are some days that I have to convince myself that this is going to happen. It has been over a year and a half since we started this process for Sonja. Some days are a breeze, others are not. We are getting inpatient, but not frustrated. We still lean on God everyday to get us through this process.

God recently opened my eyes to see more clearly. I was out with friends for lunch, not too long ago. The four of us were talking about the babies in our church, the mothers that were expecting and so we were listing who and when they would be expecting. The list didn't include Sonja. For a split second, I was hurt. I didn't understand why she wouldn't have been included on that list. She's apart of our family, she's in our hearts and we love her already. So I stated to my friends sitting at the table, "Well, nobody knows how to handle it (adoption), but Sonja is on her way too". One of my friends stated, "You're right, nobody knows how to handle it". In that moment, God said to me, "They don't know how to handle it, because they don't understand what it is like to adopt." Please understand my heart. I'm not mad at what happened at the table that day. I love those that were at that table. They love Jesus and they serve Him every day. They are apart of my church family. God gave me understanding and compassion towards those around us that have never experienced the adventure of adoption. God said educate them and help them understand. So I'm here to do just that.

Ask questions. I love to talk about adoption, but I can't read your mind. I'm not sure what you are thinking or what you want to know.

Remember that this is very real. We are "expecting". Maybe not in the traditional way of expecting, but in a non-traditional manner. Adoption builds healthy, happy families -- parent and child are linked by law and by love.

We are very excited, just as anyone would be when they are "expecting"! Help us by sharing in our joy. Along with understanding that there are fears and upsets from time to time.

Pray for those involved. Birth Mom, Foster Mom, Lawyers, PGN Officials, Government Officials, My husband and I, My son, My family, My Church Family, Our Friends and Family, Psychologists, Doctors, FBI, etc.

Please understand my heart. I haven't forgotten that several of the members of our church family, friends and immediate family have asked questions, have reminded us that they are praying, have given gifts, have helped financially and have offered their baby clothes and items for our use. THANK YOU, we truly appreciate it.

It has been a long process and I realize that this is not on every ones radar screen. I understand. I just needed to share what has been on my heart and truly just want to help those that don't understand or those that are not sure what to say or do.

3 comment(s):

quenbee said...

It is so hard to be in that waiting place. I remember watching a friend of mine who was obviously pregnant being the center of conversation and her due date, etc.... and I wanted to scream, I'M PREGNANT, TOO! ha ha ha just in a different way! I think it is hard for others to understand - they care, they just don't "get it". And I guess we really can't expect them to because they've never been there. But it's nice that you are willing to share your heart and share what will help - rather than just "suffering in silence"! Good for you. Good for Sonja! I can't wait until your water breaks! :D

margaret said...

This is a great post Lori! I think you are so right... most people don't know how to act/react. Thanks for sharing your heart and helping us to understand something that most of us will never know!

Sig said...

I could have written your post. I am on a loop where 3 women just gave birth and 1 is due momentarily. No one asks about my baby, just theirs. It's hurtful, but you can't begrudge them, they just don't "get it". Abby is very real to me and I love her as if she came from me. But to them it is unconventional.
Another time, one of my friends who was due any minute got clothes from a mutual friend of ours. This mutual friend walked right past me to give her a bunch of baby dresses gushing about the other girls pending baby. I wanted to yell "but I am due any minute too!" I didn't say a thing and it's not like I wanted or needed the clothes, ut just would have been nice to be "noticed".
Oh well, whats important is how we feel and WE know how wonderful it is that we will bring our babies home!!