Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Waiting, wanting and wishful!

"How are you?". These days, that is a loaded question. I usually just answer, "I'm doing ok". Which partially means, I'm tired of waiting for information regarding Sonja, I want to know right now and I am wishing that we can travel to get her before August 2006. Why August?, it's sooner then September! This month marks one year since we started the process to adopt Sonja. We have gotten all of the necessary paperwork done and now we sit and wait. We wait for our social worker to call and say that we have a referral. A referral has information about who Sonja is and what she looks like. Is she born? Is she healthy? What's her personality like? What does she look like? Will she bond with me? When can we become a physical family of four? We are already a family of four, we just are missing a physical piece to our little puzzle. Is her mother scared? Did she get the proper nutrients and doctor checks that are needed during a pregnancy? Has she been properly loved and cared for? What's her environment like? In the whole scope of things, I'm doing great. I live a cushy life. I have a loving environment and I don't NEED anything. I have a wonderful husband and son. Thank you for those of you who do ask how I'm doing and don't just settle for, "I'm ok", but ask further. It encourages me and let's me know that you are praying for all of us and the process to move forward. Don't be afraid to ask. If I answer, "I'm ok", it simply means I don't want to burden you with my petty issues, but as a whole.......Life is good, I just need to re-learn patience. I think I have the perseverance piece, I just need the patience. Thanks for your prayers.

3 comment(s):

Stephanie said...

Thank you for being open and sharing your heart Lori. It's good to let it all out. I am so sorry I have not asked you lately, but I do pray for you all still, and I will continue to! These are not petty issues, they are real and they need to be shared with people because people really do love and care for you- especially ME!

Audra Charlebois said...

The only thing that comes to mind is "don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." :)
God is in perfect control of your AND Sonja's precious life!

Lori said...

Steph - Thank you for praying and for your compassion towards my family and myself.

Audra - Thanks for the reminder. I do know that God is in control of this situation. How couldn't I? He has already overcome a medical road block for the adoption and He has given me love in my heart for a child I haven't even met yet. I think that, that alone is pretty incredible. I see my impatience as selfish and greedy. I want to know now and I can't have it yet, because it is not's God timing it is mine. Yet for those that really know me and know my heart, know that it has been a 12+ year battle with creating a family and can understand where I am truly coming from. I don't freely share my deepest thoughts, it usually has to be pulled out of me. But this entry was just a snippit of what my heart from time to time goes through!