Monday, August 04, 2008

What would you do?

Ok, I know that I need to love, I'm called to love as a Christ follower. There are times that are hard to love though, here's one I'm struggling with... What would you do?

Nicolai has a friend from school. They live just a mile maybe mile and a half away from us. When the friend wants Nicolai to play, he calls up and asks, which is great. When Nicolai goes there, I drive him over and pick him up. No problem there.

Whenever Nicolai calls and wants his friend to come and play, his friends parents pick up the phone and alot of times hang up on him or say that he can't play.

The friend has only been here a couple of times, and here's how it has gone down:

One time, the friends grandmother drove up (no phone call) and had the friend come to the door and ask if he can stay and play. Not until I walked out to the grandmother's vehicle did she tell me that she needed to get some sleep because she's a nurse and works at night, so would it be ok for her grandson to play here for the day?!

The second time: The friend calls up and asks if he can come to our house and play, it's fine, until I could here the father in the background yelling to the friend (just ask if you can play or not). So I say, yes, that's fine, but I have a baby napping and can't come and get you- you need to have a parent bring you and tell them I will return you home by 4 - 4:30pm. So they get here and the friend gets dropped off and the dad shouts to me before he drives off - can we have you bring him back 5 - 5:15 instead? Would that be ok? I said yes - but what am I suppose to do? These people seem to be taking advantage of us. If they would just say that they need help -then I would be more then happy to help! Maybe they aren't trying to take advantage, but sometimes it seems that way. What would you do?

6 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

I would try to love him and treat him like one of the family as much as possible. You may be the only ray of sunshine or moments of peace he has in his life. Kids cannot control how their parents behave, and if he and Nicolai get along well and it is a good fit for the two of them then the friendship is worth it. You would not be out of line to say when you cannot pick up etc., you don't have to a door mat, but do what you can when you can. You may even ask him if he can go with Nico to Sunday school some week, or an activity at your church that would be fun for him and non-threatening for the family. Many children have been the ones to lead their parents through the church door.
Tia D.

Lori said...

Thanks Tia D.! :) Yes - we have invited him to church several times. He has come with us to our Kidstuf program a few times, but we just can't get him to bring his family - but we can keep trying! It's a little frustrating when their parents and grandparents act like that!

Jennifer said...

Just pour on the love to him but I would also set up boundaries. THey clearly think you will do anything they ask.

Jane-Jane said...

keep on loving may be the only Jesus they see...EVER! This little boy NEEDS you and your family, maybe you could contact them and see if you can have a regular play time at your house. That way you could work around your families schedule, and you would be the example of communication.

and I give you permission to remind me of this in the future!

thank you for being there for this little boy. I'm serious when I say he NEEDS you.

Jamie said...

I agree with all of the above comments. Keep pouring your love into that little boy. But Jennifer is right also. You do need to set up boundaries when it comes to the parents/grandparents.

Greta Jo said...

I too agree with all the above comments however, I am a strong believer in verbal communication.