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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Unexpected Encourgement!





This evening Nicolai had his Karate Belt Ranking Ceremony. He acquired his Green belt/Purple Stripe. He sat so well and didn't blurt out comments when sitting (which is usually what happens). He did really well, I was so proud of him and I told him several times.

Part of the ceremony, Nicolai's instructor says a brief speech or story which usually has a lesson to it. He shared with us tonight about a boy named Mikey who was eight years old at the time. He struggled in school, he didn't have friends, he was diagnosed with ADHD and turned out to be somewhat of a trouble for teachers. (I'm thinking - wow, don't you mean Nicolai?! - cuz this story is hittin' close to home!) The school had sat Mikey's Mom down and proceeded to tell her all of the issues her son had and their concern for him. She stood up after the meeting and told the people in the room that she was not going to receive what they had said to her. She was not going to receive any of the negative things they were saying to her. She believed in her son and believed that he could do what he put his mind to and left the meeting. She didn't share anything with her son, instead she told him that he was magnificent, she believed he could achieve his dreams and that he was great child. (Not exact words he used, but that was the gist of it) Mikey's Mom told him this every day. The instructor went on to share that the Mikey in the story was Michael Phelps. The Michael Phelps who is winning medals on most, if not all of his events in the current Olympics. I was blown away by this story. I was convicted by this story and realized that I too need to try harder at building into Nicolai. I try now, but there are many times that Nicolai tells me I'm faking it or he doesn't believe me. I need to work through those moments and press on. So many times I am told that I am fat, mean, hated and that he wishes I was dead or that he wants to kill me. There are several moments and times that I am told my cooking is not good or that I say or do something incorrectly in Nicolai's mind. That constant battering can wear me down. It makes it extremely hard to build him up or into him when that is the response or the attitude that I receive. I don't have future expectations for him other then to just make it through each moment and each day, other then your typical parenting expectations. I don't wish for my son to be a lawyer, doctor or anything else for that matter. Whatever he wishes to do in life, I support him and if I don't approve, I will try my best to love him through it.

Nicolai's instructor's story struck a cord. In addition to praying for my child every day that he would grow to love and know Jesus Christ as his personal savior, that he would make the right choices that he is faced with and that I would have eyes like Christ to see and love my son the way He sees him. I also need to be praying for God to give me strength to encourage him and build him up.

As school season approaches quickly, this story encourages me to NOT receive the negative things I hear about my son on, sometimes, a daily basis from teachers and others around us. I need to trust and believe that God will help to protect my son from those things that are said. I need to trust and believe that God will continually give me strength and perseverance to love my child the way God intended me to.

(Please don't misunderstand me, we do have several friends who love Nicolai and tell us and show us and him on a regular basis. If it wasn't for them, and God putting them in our path to encourage us, I would think that I'm a huge failure as a mom too often. I'm thankful for those friends and family who encourage us and love Nicolai for who he is, not what they want him to be. And can love me and encourage me when those days of constant battering by him is too much and I need a break!)

3 comment(s):

Chad said...

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1998-2.html

Here is an article about Michael Phelp's Mother. The article also talks to Ty Pennington's mom and Danielle Fisher's mom.

Thanks for sharing Lori.

Lori said...

@Chad - Thank you so much for that information. That might be a mag I need to order!

Jennifer said...

Lori, I could have wrote this post myself. Your words ring so true to what I deal with on a daily basis. I will be lifting you up in prayer.,